"according to one senior intelligence official in Washington. "If a bullet went through the back of the head, it's sectarian," the official said. "If it went through the front, it's criminal." (emphasis added.)
Using this new metric, I have solved the following crimes:
Pat Tillman*: Originally reported as death by "friendly fire." It was finally revealed that Pat Tillman was not killed by "friendly fire" while engaging the enemy, but was shot in the face at a very close range. Therefore, his death was not sectarian, but a criminal act, since he was shot in the face at a close range. Therefore, the person who killed Pat Tilllman could only be Dick Cheney.
John F. Kennedy: As we all know, JFK was shot in the back of the head while driving through Dallas, Texas. Using this new metric, his assassination was the result of sectarian violence. Therefore, Osama bin Laden killed JFK. Or, it could also have been Dick Cheney.
2 comments:
Sectarian violence? i like that. jfk killing was the first murder of the new civil war. and the motherfuckers have been killing and winning ever since.
i like your site.
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