Sunday, September 16, 2007

Bush is The Predicter

Rachel Maddow recently had a great riff on a particularly curious portion of Bush's Latest-Greatest Razzle-Dazzle. I just had to look it up for myself. Even for Bush it's a doozy.

So I sat down at the laptop all in a tizzy, ready for the snark and the irony and the vulgarity of it all.

Then I realized, after reading and re-reading this passage, that I had nothing. These statements are so intrinsically ridiculous and mendacious that it's inane to even try to rebut or prove them wrong. Bush is making a series of predictions on what would happen if the US military were to leave Iraq. To be sure, Bush is less Nostradamus and more Barney Fife.

But since I dabble in the inane...

Let's jump right in.

"If we were to be driven out of Iraq, extremists of all strains would be emboldened. "


"...would be emboldened." Is there any debate that extremists of all strains are already emboldened? Am I missing something? Is there a certain strain of Muslim extremist who is like, "Eh, the Americans bombing and killing Muslims for the oil, it's not so bad." And forget the extremists. I'd say about every moderate Muslim is emboldened to kill and destroy Americans by this point.


"Al Qaeda could gain new recruits and new sanctuaries. "

Seriously, what the fuck? Is there any debate that Al Qaeda has already gained new recruits and sanctuaries by our invasion? Not even the wingnuts can deny it. Shit, Bush has said our biggest enemy in Iraq is Al Qaeda.

"Iran would benefit from the chaos..."



Haven't we been saying Iran has been the big winner so far?

"Iraq could face a humanitarian nightmare. "

Okay, this one put me over the edge. The fact that hundreds of thousands of Iraqis are dead; that millions are refugees; that communities have been ethnically cleansed; that a civil war is occurring; that they have no electricity and no clean water and food; that most of the doctors have left the country; that unemployment is over 50%; that they have an increasing infant mortality rate; that their lives are shattered with no hope for any recovery anytime soon.

Bush is saying that since we are there, Iraq is not facing a humanitarian nightmare?

Seriously, what the fuck?

"Democracy movements would be violently reversed."

Such as the US support of Fateh to overthrow the democratically elected Hamas? Such as our support for Musharraf, a dictator vis-a-vis a military coup? Such as our support for the authoritarian leaders of Saudi Arabia? Such as the rumblings of overthrowing the democratically elected President of Iraq?

"We would leave our children to face a far more dangerous world. "

Gee, you thinks so, President Bush? For that you deserve all of the credit. Just consider the US foreign policy for the next generation Operation Blowback.


"And as we saw on September the 11th, 2001, those dangers can reach our cities and kill our people."

Yeah, we saw, Mr. President. We saw you sit there in a classroom full of children not knowing whether you should shit or wind your watch. You screwed the pooch on 9-11 and now you are screwing us. You have robbed us of our treasure and spilled our blood and mortally wounded multiple nations. Including the one you swore to protect.

To recap, according to Bush, as long as we are in Iraq: Extremists will not be emboldened; Al Qaeda will not gain new recruits or sanctuaries; Iran will not benefit; Iraq will not face any humanitarian crises; no democracy movements will be reversed; our children will be safer; and absolutely no attacks will occur on US soil.

In the spirit then, Mr. President, let me look in the crystal ball and make a Bushian prediction:

Regardless of whether we stay or leave Iraq, George W. Bush will be recorded as the single worst President in the history of the United States. History will place him as one of the most dangerous and destructive leaders of the 20th century.

1 comment:

Chuck Cliff said...

You're wrong El Tiburon!

Bush is not only the worst president ever, he is (at least) the second and third worst.

How do we deal out medals? Can't be gold, silver, bronze!

No, Shit, Barf and Dried Snot and he has them locked in!